I’m looking for a boyfriend. I’ve gone on all those apps — Grindr, Scruff, Adam4Adam — and found some cool guys. But here’s the problem: Almost no one wants to meet up for a drink or dinner. It’s all about hooking up. That is fun, but in my experience, once a guy gets off with another guy, he isn’t likely to come back. I really want to get to know a guy and establish a relationship.
My question: Is that just me? Is sex on the first date a good idea if you’re looking for a long-term relationship…
This might seem like a queer question, but how many LGBTQIA etc. people are there in the United States? I’ve always heard that we make up 10 percent of the population. But then I just stumbled across a 2020 report from something called GLAAD that complains that in 2019 only 18.6 percent of movies from big studios had LGBTQ actors. If 18.6 percent isn’t enough, does that mean we make up more than 10 percent of the population? Should I expect to see more queers at the Oscars?
A curious queer,
Dear Joe Vial:
I keep reading that cities like San Francisco, San Diego, Seattle, Washington, DC, West Hollywood, Key West have painted crosswalks in the gay rainbow flag colors. Yuck! If you gay guys are so stylish, what’s with this tacky rainbow flag thing? Don’t you think Yves Saint Laurent, Gianni Versace, and Halston are rolling in their graves?
Well, Halston, Versace, and Saint Laurent died long after the rainbow flag was invented by Gilbert Baker, the gay Betsy Ross. …
I’m a guy of a certain age who only managed to come out as gay a few years ago. Being able to be who I really am is what makes me very, very happy.
Now I know I have a lot to learn about our gay world. Last year I downloaded a couple of those gay hookup apps — Grindr, Scruff, Mister. (Don’t worry, I’m not going hook up until this pandemic is over.) It’s been great texting with guys I meet on there (who share some pretty hot pictures.). But the way guys talk on those app…
I’m sure you’ve heard this question before. But why does size matter so much to gay guys? (And I’m not talking about height). When I’m on a hookup site like Grindr or Scruff, guys hit me up asking “how big are you?” First of all, my profile clearly states that I am a bottom. So why does the size of my cock matter? Who really measures it anyway?
I’ve enjoyed sex with guys big and small, however you define it. Honestly, a guy who knows how to kiss is gonna turn me on a lot more than a…
I’m 50 years old, and since I came out 30 years ago I’ve been looking for “the One.” I thought I found him several times. In fact, I’ve been in two seven-year relationships, and there was one that lasted three years. I actually almost got married!
But each time I came to realize that I wasn’t getting everything that I’d been looking for. So now, deep into my Daddy years, I’m wondering if I should be looking for the Two, or the Three, or even the Four. In other words, does monogamy really make sense? …
Like most of my gay buddies, I love dogs. My dachshund is the love of my life, an animal I can count on to cuddle with when those homo sapiens flake. I’m even a member of Dudes with Dogs, that Facebook community (that now includes Chaps with Cats).
So, I was delighted when a guy I met on Scruff asked me to come over and play with him and his pup. I put a collar and a leash on my weiner and drove over to his place (carrying a few doggie treats with me.) …
I was at a party the other night and overheard two gay men in their early 30s talking about the boyfriend of one of them. One guy said to the other: “So how’s the relationship going with daddy?” Apparently, he was referring to the other guy’s boyfriend, who was at the party and appeared to be in his mid-50s. Daddy? Isn’t that a creepy, and maybe perverse, way for someone to refer to his boyfriend? It conjures up images of incest and pedophilia. …
Everybody tells me that gay guys are into fashion. But honestly, when I go visit West Hollywood for my fag hag night out at the Abbey, I’m just not seeing it. Looks like it’s all about t-shirts and jeans or shorts during the daytime, and t-shirts and jeans at night, with a sweatshirt or hoodie tossed on for warmth. Is this another one of those stereotypes you keep writing about? I know fashion (used to work in the industry in New York City) and this isn’t fashion.
Dear Gucci Girl:
Fashion is a business that’s dominated…
One of my friends married his boyfriend a few years ago in New York City (I actually attended the wedding, and it was pretty amazing). Now David introduces Clay as his “husband.” Gotta tell ya, it makes me want to ask if David is the wife. (And that leads me to inappropriate thoughts about sexual positions). I haven’t had the nerve to ask, because it seems like none of my business, but do gay and lesbian people who get married struggle with what to call their spouses? Husband? Wife? Significant Other? Partner? …
Henry (Hank) Scott is the former CEO of Out Publishing (and thus a professional homosexual) and an amateur anthropologist who likes to explore gay culture