Is My Son a Water Sports Athlete?

Dear Hank:

My 18-year-old son is gay, and I couldn’t be prouder of him for being who he is. He is smart, and very athletic. He was a real star on his high school basketball team. And he’s now in his freshman year at Princeton.

I’m writing you because a strange message popped up on his iPhone screen the other day (he left it on the dining room table when he went to the bathroom). Some guy was texting him about “water sports.” And the text messages were sort of sexual. The guy told Wade (my son) that his passion for “water sports” was a “real turn-on.”

Wade used to swim during the summer at the pool at our neighborhood park. And I know he’s gone to the beach a few times. But he’s never been on a swimming team. So what kind of “water sports” is this guy talking about? Should I ask him if he’s trying to join the Princeton swim team? Should I be concerned?

Worried About Wade?

Dear Ms. Worried:

Water sports! Well, that is quite a recreational pastime for some gay men. The Cambridge Dictionary offers two definitions for “sport.” One is a “game, competition, or activity needing physical effort and skill that is played or done according to rules, for enjoyment and/or as a job.” Football, basketball, and hockey are given as examples. The other definition is “all types of physical activity that people do to keep healthy or for enjoyment.” I guess for gay men, water sports sort of fit that definition.

Essentially, it’s a fetish, a form of sexual play that involves one guy peeing on another for the purpose of sexual pleasure. Sometimes a guy pees in the mouth of another thirsty guy, who swallows it with glee. Sometimes he just pees on the other guy’s body. It can be a one-on-one activity or both guys can share the pee.

While it’s not the most common gay fetish, there are regular water sports events, like Soak, which describes its Palm Springs event as “a men’s bonding pop-up event for like-minded guys who enjoy watersports.

“Whether preferring to be a tap, a drain or both, join our drug-free, shame-free male bonding event.”

Should you be worried that Wade is wading into that fetish? Well, there are some questions about the safety of urine. WebMD.com notes that while urine has been used as a folk medicine for problems like asthma, arthritis, allergies, cancer, indigestion, migraines, and infertility, “science overwhelmingly agrees that urine is not safe or healthy to consume. “

For example, if you’re taking some forms of medicine, they might be excreted into your urine after your body processes them. So drinking your urine means you might get a double dose. And drinking another guy’s urine means you might be ingesting a drug that’s not been prescribed for you. Also, pee isn’t pure. It contains bacteria, so it might not be safe unless it’s sterilized. Urine also contains toxins that your urinary system works to remove from your body.

“By drinking urine, you are consuming these toxins that your body explicitly intended to remove,” says WebMD. “This can lead to kidney damage or disease as these organs need to work harder to handle the increased concentration of toxic substances.”

But there’s a plus side! According to WebMD, “the toxic effects of drinking urine do not occur when applying it to the skin.” Urea, a compound in urine, is used in a synthetic form in a variety of skincare products. It can help keep your skin moist and soft. Some synthetic urea products are used to treat psoriasis, corns, and calluses.

So maybe getting pee’ed on, but not pee’ed in, might not be so bad.

I hope that answers your question. My question is, are you going to raise this issue with Wade? He probably won’t be happy to hear that his mom has been reading his mobile phone texts. On the other hand, if you share this information with him so that he knows there are safe ways to play water sports, maybe he’ll see that as more evidence that his mom accepts him for who he is. Wade, the water sporter!

Hank, Your Gay Lifeguard,

Questions you straight people can’t bring yourself to ask your gay friends and neighbors? Or maybe you’re just queer and befuddled. Send them to Hank@AskAGay.net. (Warning: The answers will be factually correct, but might not be politically correct)